VMAs Satirical Fashion Review

Queen of Color – Hailee Something wearing idk maybe Balmain? Fav, gold star, thank you very much Hailee

Dis Bitch done brought it. Srsly. Dangerous curves ahead. Nicki Minajesty. Bow down. We are not worthy!

Shades and fierce red lip. Nothing else even matters. Shaded. I think her name is Amber. or it might be Rose. Well done Rose or maybe Amber, well done.

I like this jumpsuit. I think I can see yer nipple. I too support the free the nipple movement. Is this comfy tho? Cameltoe or nah? 

I wore this exact same outfit to my birthday party last month. Baddie Winkle is actually my g-ma and we share clothes all the time. She’s gonna lend me that cane tomorrow.

 

I really like how this outfit tells a story. It’s like a feather nest and Queen B’s head is the egg just chillin’ in the nest, ready to hatch the next boss ass idea to follow up Lemonade. How do you follow up Lemonade you ask? Probably Strawberry Lemonade. 

This probably looks great but I’m way too irritated by the one off the shoulder thing to appreciate it’s greatness. OCD probs. 

I like 4/5 of what is going on in this picture and I feel no need to elaborate. 

Slit me baby one more time. Crushed it. 

Has anyone else read that Coat of Many Colors book? It was about a patchwork coat that a child got made fun of for because she was poor #mymomwassubtlytryingtoexplainmychildhoodtomethroughliterature anyway, this kind of reminds me of that book. But this lady probably isn’t poor. Sorry idk who you are, but that’s a nice colorful fringe cape/dress/jacket thing.

I envision the conversation went like this:

Lady with the belly: Babe, does this shirt make me look pregnant?

Guy with the face: Only if you leave it entirely unbuttoned

OKAY NIEVE YOU PERV. 

I think Cassie and Nieve’s baby momma had the same stylist. No shirt is the new shirt. Love the pants, lose the highlighter hair. ASAP.

We see you DNCE. Should we just call leather overalls 5-chains? Nice purple hair. Preppy jock look, ginormous bell-bottom pants and a Canadian tuxedo. The early 2000’s called. They want their style mistakes back. 

Uh-ah honey. Her voice may be bomb, but Ariana Granda is a bit too small for her britches. Metaphor? Maybe. Be gone with those bad bangs. Bitch bye.

I like her baby bird hair and makeup but I can’t even deal with the grunge/punk/platform stuff from the early 2000’s.

What even are you? I’m so uncomfortable RN.

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